Helping Our Children Live a Life of No Regrets

Everyone needs purpose in their lives, the challenge we often face is in finding that purpose.

As parents we desire the best for our children. We recognize the importance the role purpose plays in their lives. For all of us, having a sense of defined purpose gives us hope, energy, and passion in life. Purpose allows us to engage, to bring positive change in our lives and in the lives around us. Without purpose we languish.

Often purpose takes on a role that transcends ourselves. Purpose doesn’t have to be great in the eyes of the public. Often purpose is of a much humbler persuasion. With genuine purpose comes a sense of inner peace. For some, purpose is caring for a family member, for others, purpose might be more public and evident.

For a follower of Christ, purpose contains a deeper, spiritual component. An element of eternity comes to the forefront. Such eternal purposes are most meaningful when aligned with Gods will and very nature. After all, it is God that plants the seeds of desire, that when nurtured, grow to maturity as life a purpose in each of our hearts.

As a parent, it is our high honor to help our kids in their search for meaningful purpose with eternal significance. On the journey to adulthood, our children are striving to understand their roles and purpose in life. As they do this, it’s incumbent upon parents, that we actively enable their quest to identify their life’s purpose. We aught to pray for our children and to engage them in meaningful dialog around this quest.

While on this path towards finding eternal purpose, we must remember to resist the temptation to identify our children’s purpose for them. We may coach, educate, and offer council, but we must allow God free reign in this aspect of their lives.

It’s possible that our children’s purpose may not be in harmony with our personal concepts of purpose for their lives. To be meaningful and to have eternal significance, their purpose must be in alignment with God’s nature. In this we must agree upfront to not interfere with God’s divine plan for our children. To do so would ultimately bring them a lifetime of regret. There can be no higher calling than to align our life’s purpose with God’s eternal purpose.

Such a goal should be sought with the understanding that God’s ways are higher than our own ways. We may not fully grasp the significance of His purposes in our lives or in the lives of our children. Instead we must trust Him, we must choose to walk on a narrow trail of faith that encompasses the reality of God’s constant grace to his children.

When William Borden graduated from a Chicago high school in 1904, he was heir to the Borden Dairy estate, which made him a millionaire. For his graduation present, his parents gave him a trip around the world.

As the young man traveled through Asia, the Middle East, and Europe, he felt a growing burden for the world’s hurting people. Finally, Borden wrote home to say, “I’m going to give my life to prepare for the mission field.” At the same time, he wrote two words in the back of his Bible: “No reserves.”

Perhaps his parents would have wanted him to take over the family business or enter into some other aspect of business. Yet despite such promising opportunities, Borden never wavered in what he believed to be a higher calling, a higher purpose, a purpose cloaked in eternal significance.

While attending Yale, Borden started numerous Bible study groups. By the time he graduated, more than half the student body were participating in his Bible study groups in one form or another. When he wasn’t ministering to students on campus, he was ministering to the poor on the streets of New Haven.

Upon graduation from Yale, Borden wrote two more words in the back of his Bible: “No retreats.”

With his family name and education, he was quickly offered several lucrative job opportunities upon graduation from Yale. In the face of these offers, he stayed true to his purpose and turned them all down, enrolling in Seminary instead.

Upon graduation from seminary, he traveled to Egypt to learn Arabic so he could work with Muslims in China. While in Egypt, Borden contracted spinal meningitis. He died within a month at the young age of twenty-five.

Prior to his death, Borden wrote two more words in his Bible. Underneath the words “No reserves” and “No retreats,” he wrote, “No regrets.”1

While we can’t always understand God’s plans and purposes, we can be confident that when we follow His plan for our lives, plans that are consistent with His character, we will live a life of no regrets.

In the eyes of those outside of God’s kingdom, Borden’s life may have seemed wasted, perhaps even unfair. But the truth is, none of us know how many years we’ve been given to live out our earthly life, but for Borden, he viewed his life from an eternal perspective, he trusted God for his eternal purpose, and that’s what allowed him to live his life fully (John 10:10) with no regrets.

For those of us that God allows to live for many years, we have the double challenge of keeping God’s purpose alive for the long run. Perhaps your purpose is to help others by working in a retail setting, perhaps it’s to bring comfort over a lifetime of service to countless patients as a member of the medical profession, or to minister to co-workers in a business setting, or to give hope to troubled students in the teaching profession. Whatever your eternal purpose, do it to the glory of God, and live your life with no regrets.

____________________________

1 Mrs. Howard Taylor, Borden of Yale (Bethany, 1988) Craig Brian Larson and Phyllis Ten Elshof, 1001 Illustrations That Connect (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 2008), 276–277.

Our Time Opportunity

God gives each of us something I would characterize as “time opportunity.” It’s a window of time from the moment we are born until we die.

Time is one of the few things in life that cannot be restored or replenished. Once a minute passes by, it’s gone forever. We can never get it back. No amount of effort on our part can restore time that has been consumed.

In 1932, Robert H. Smith, penned the following poem entitled “Clock Of Life.” (1)

The clock of life is wound but once,

And no man has the power.

To say just when the hands will stop;

At late, or early hour.

Now is the only time we own to do His precious will,

Do not wait until tomorrow;

For the clock may then be still.

The time set for each of us is known only by the Master Time Keeper. In all cases, God gives us a pre-ordained and finite gift of time; from conception until we pass from this life into eternity.

The Psalmist captured this concept beautifully when he wrote:

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16, NIV)

This much we also know; life is uncertain, and we don’t know at which hour we will breath our last.

Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so people are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.” (Ecclesiastes 9:12, NIV)

As the author of Ecclesiastes observed, we experience death because of evil. And we know from the balance of the scriptures, that we experience evil because of humanity’s choice to have rejected God’s original plan for us.

It is the wise person who values and cherishes the time they have now. This same person understands that none of us can afford to waste our gift of time frivolously, rather they should invest their gift of time in the things of life that count.

Moses wrote:

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12, NIV)

It’s important that we should take a moment now and again and assess how we are using our time. Are we using it wisely or foolishly? Are we using our God given gift of time in ways that please our Lord?

These are important questions. In the end, when our time has run out, each of us will be individually accountable for how we used the time opportunity God gave us.

And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.” (Revelation 20:12, NIV)

In life, how we use our limited and non-renewable time reflects our priorities. When we use our time in ways that bring honor to God, we store up treasures in Heaven. Our rewards and treasures that God will shower us with in Heaven will be waiting for us when our time comes.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” (Matthew 6:20, NIV)

“Herman Wouk, in his novel, “The Caine Mutiny”, (2) told about Willie Keigh, a character who was aboard a minesweeper in World War II, when he received word from his father that he had an incurable disease that would soon claim his life. In this letter, the father offered his son the following advice:

“There is nothing, nothing more precious than time.… Wasted hours destroy your life just as surely at the beginning as at the end.…”

When we’re young, we often foolishly think we have all the time in the world…but that’s pride speaking. In reality, we don’t know how much time God has gifted us in this life. I’m sure many of you reading this, have experienced the death of someone for which it seemed unfair, that their life was taken all too early. I suppose all of us are at risk in this regard, as we simply don’t know when our time will be.

I recently attended the memorial service of a friend that died seemingly too early. He was a soft-spoken man of few words, and yet he had a profound impact on the lives of many people. At his memorial service, the church that we were in was packed. The main floor and the balcony were full, and people were standing in the aisles to honor him.

Person after person shared how this man always made himself available to help others, he served in quiet ways, seemingly in the background. Young and old alike were served by him.

As my family and I left the memorial service that day, I thought about this person, I thought about how wisely he had used his time. I thought of the huge impact he had on so many lives. While his death was unexpected for us, it was not for God. Like most of us, my friend had plans for the years ahead, yet he lived in the moment, in the now, to honor the Lord he served and loved. God has no doubt richly rewarded him for the manner and in the priorities in which he chose to live out his life.

The apostle Paul shared insights on how we as God’s people should live out our lives. He spoke of a framework of virtues from which we might bring to life by our actions.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”(Colossians 3:12, NIV)

Notice that Paul tells us to “clothe” ourselves in the virtues that God cherishes. These virtues speak of an expectation of actions on our part. They are to become the very fabric of who we are as Christ followers. Think of some of the actions that might come about from these virtues that Paul shared:
Compassion: Seeing a need and taking time to perhaps fill that need, or perhaps to talk to a person that is struggling with the weight of something significant in their heart.
Kindness: Offering your time to provide a meal, do a chore, or help a person in some other way.
Humility: Lending an ear to listen and while not offering unsolicited advice.
Gentleness: Visiting someone in the hospital and praying for them.
Patience: Investing time in a young person or family member, mentoring them and understanding that life is challenging, and that we need to be patient as we help them to uncover God’s plan for their lives.

Before we engage in our day, we should take a moment at it’s start to pause and consider how we are planning on using the time God has given us. As you look ahead, what are the actions that you plan to put in place to connect to the virtues that Paul spoke of?

Will you use your gift of time to honor God; to improve yourself so that you may serve Him more wisely, or will you consume your time to primarily serve self and passion?

In His wisdom, God has given each of us the time opportunity needed to fulfill His purposes, however long or short it might be. In the end, the question is not; do I need more time? Rather, it’s how will I use the time opportunity I’ve already been given?

================================================================

(1) Paul Lee Tan, Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations: Signs of the Times (Garland, TX: Bible Communications, Inc., 1996), 1481.

(2) G. Curtis Jones, 1000 Illustrations for Preaching and Teaching (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1986), 350.

Life: At the Intersection of Love and Action

When I was a child I knew for certain I was loved. There was never a doubt in my mind about the love my parents had for me and my siblings. Yet that love was rarely expressed in words, almost always in deeds. I’ve never dwelt on that too much, but in my heart, I’ve always found value in the additional expression of love in three simple words:

“I love you.”

Now married with my own kids, my wife and I have made it a point to express to one another, and to our children these all important words.

By themselves these are just words. But when coupled by our actions they’re activated, becoming the catalyst of life that restores, forgives, bonds, grows, encourages, strengthens, inspires, brings hope, serves, surrenders, and transforms. These words become a living reality in our lives and in the lives that they touch.

Life happens at the intersection of love and action.

When our kids were younger, they saw the contrast of how love and actions were lived out in our home and expressed in their grandparents home. They picked up on the fact that the words “I love you” were rarely expressed directly, rather love was mostly expressed through actions. They understood that their grandparents loved them dearly, just as I knew that they loved me as their son. Not willing to let this observation go to waste they decided to made a game of it, particularly with my Dad. They wanted to see if they could get Grandpa to say the words “I love you” more frequently by prompting him somehow.

Going forward, when our visits with my parents would conclude, our kids would make it a point to express their sentiments in words and in the form of a hug. (Bridging action and words.) At first it was a bit awkward, I don’t think my Dad knew exactly how to respond. But then something interesting begin to happen. It was almost as though he was given permission to respond in kind, and he often did. “I love you” became easier to say. What was always in his heart found expression in words.

In the Bible, Luke captured the close relationship that Peter and Jesus shared. Peter, by nature was somewhat impulsive and prone to act before thinking, but during their time together, Peter developed a greater appreciation for what it meant to love another.

Life is hard, there is no escaping that reality. But through our many life experiences, if we are patient and seek God with an expectant heart, we will know what it is to be loved by our Lord; we will experience the vast richness of his enveloping love for us.

During the last supper, Peter expressed that he was willing to show by action his love commitment to Jesus by declaring to Jesus that he would be willing to “go to prison” or perhaps even being willing “to die” with Jesus if things came to that.

But Jesus knew something about Peter; he knew that Peter’s statement had more to do with Peter’s pride and independence of heart, than with grasping the true meaning and significance of genuine love. Peter was moving so fast in life that he hadn’t paused to deeply understand the sincere depth of Christ’s love for him.

In life, one of the greatest expressions of love is when a parent recognizes that moment when their child might be in harms way and takes action to intercede on their behalf. Children often fail to recognize an immediate threat, and when a parent intercedes, a child may complain of the intersession. But a wise parent, with real life experiences will intercede in the life of their child to protect them from serious harm, regardless of the child’s response.

We who have placed our faith in the saving power of Jesus are God’s children, and Jesus loves us so much that he intercedes for us on a regular basis. In fact, the greatest form of  intercession was when Jesus willingly died for us on the cross to provide for us, via unmerited grace, eternal life with him.

Luke recorded a time when Jesus, because of his love for Peter, interceded on Peter’s behalf. Recall that Peter’s given name was Simon. It was when he met Jesus that Jesus gave him another name, “Peter.” When translated, it meant “Rock.” Think of it as a kind of a nickname. (Petros is the Greek word of “a piece of rock or stone.” )(1)

Jesus shared with Peter:

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”” (Luke 22:31–32, NLT)

Here was Jesus sharing with Peter, God’s child,  how he interceded on his behalf knowing that Satan was out to bring great harm to Peter.

And what do you suppose Peter’s response was?

Peter said, “Lord, I am ready to go to prison with you, and even to die with you.”(Luke 22:33 NLT)

Peter’s response to Jesus seemed to say, “Lord, I don’t need your intersession, I can handle this on my own, in fact, I’m strong enough that no one could dissuade me from you; I’m even willing to show you that; by either going to prison with you or even dying!”

Did you sense the pride in his response! The “Rock” showing off his self-sufficiency and ego. Jesus knew Peter’s heart to be filled with pride and self-sufficiency. We can infer this by how Jesus responded to Peter’s statement:

But Jesus said, “Peter, let me tell you something. Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.”” (Luke 22:33–34, NLT)

Notice when Jesus responded to Simon he did so by his nickname, “Rock.” I don’t want to infer more than needed here, but as the reader, I sensed that it was almost as though Jesus was saying, “Hey Mr. Tough Guy, Mr. Rock, let me tell you something, before the rooster crows…”

Not much later we see the entire prediction of Jesus unfold before our eyes. Luke captures the moment when Peter denied his association with Jesus for the third time:

But Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.

At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter.

Suddenly, the Lord’s words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.”

And Peter left the courtyard, weeping bitterly.” (Luke 22:60–62, NLT)

How crushing this must have been for Peter! The heart of the Rock and been reduced to pebbles.

The moment the rooster had crowed, Peter had been close enough to Jesus for them to make eye contact. In that instant, the Lord’s prediction replayed in Peter’s mind, imploding Peter from the inside. One could only begin to imagine the humility and anguish that Peter experienced as he looked into the hurting eyes of Jesus. No words were exchanged, yet everything was said.

If that had been the end of the story this would have been a horrible tragedy. Peter would have no doubt replayed this event over and over and wished that he had handled things differently. He no doubt felt like he had let Jesus down, that he had abandoned him in his hour of need. In Peter’s mind, the Rock was no longer, he was incapable of ever leading anything, much less the new church.

Fortunately for Peter, Jesus’ actions would soon be followed by words of restoration and redemption from Jesus himself.

Shortly after the resurrection, the disciples had all encountered the risen Jesus multiple times in one venue or another. Yet the words of restoration and love from Jesus to Peter came at a later encounter, just prior to Jesus’ return to heaven. It was during this encounter that Jesus publicly restored Peter. This critical conversation took place along the familiar shores of the Sea of Galilee soon after the risen Jesus had finished having breakfast with his beloved disciples.

The apostle John captured the moment between Peter and Jesus:

After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.” “Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.

For each prior denial of Jesus that Peter had made, Jesus asked Peter if he loved him. In the the end, Peter acknowledged that God knew all things, therefore Jesus had to also know of Peter’s true heart of love. Gone was Peter’s selfish pretense and pride, replaced instead with a servant’s heart of genuine love and humility for his Lord.

These words publicly spoken by Jesus before Peter and the other disciples fully restored Peter. These were deep constructive words that assured Peter not only of Jesus’ love, but of Jesus’ confidence in Peter’s role as a servant leader to the early church.

Similarly, as we go about our daily lives, our view of love needs to be like that of our Lord. We need to be prepared to build up those closest to us and to never underestimate the value of expressing those critical three words to those closest to us:

“I love you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

====================================================================

(1) John F. MacArthur Jr., Twelve Ordinary Men: How the Master Shaped His Disciples for Greatness, and What He Wants to Do with You (Nashville, TN: W Pub. Group, 2002), 34.

A Life Empowered

The hike was her first. At age six she needed an occasional hand from her Mom, Dad, or Grandpa to climb over some of the larger rocks and logs that were sometimes encountered on the steep mountain trail.

After an hour of walking on the tree covered trail the path finally flattened out. Tall Ponderosa pines whispered above the four hikers as gentle breezes found their way through the tree’s lofty branches. After a few more minutes of  hiking, the crude trail opened up to a beautiful lush green meadow. Nearby, a small wooden bridge leading to the meadow traversed a little creek that gently gurgled along its banks. Tiny yellow and white flowers dotted the the lush mountain oasis, tended by numerous songbirds, which added to the cheery scene as they sang and chirped while darting with flashes of bright colors through the gently swaying grasses.

This regal meadow scene was surrounded by soaring snow covered mountain peaks that rose like rocky edifices from the earth. The sound of cows mooing in the distance were complemented by the lazy clanging of their cow bells. Evidently a herd of cattle spent the better part of their Summer grazing upon the rich supply of food and plentiful mountain water.

Grandpa leisurely walked the way across the meadow with his granddaughter. Mom and Dad sat near the little bridge on the skirt of the meadow under the shimmering Aspens, taking pictures and watching as the two started their walk across the meadow.

About midway the into their walk, the cows who had been grazing on the other side of the meadow, spotted the two hikers. Being curious creatures, they gradually moved as one group towards them. The little girl watched with fascination as the cows steadily closed their distance.

In time the two were surrounded by fifty to sixty cows, each wearing a copper colored cow bell that clanged with each step they made. Close up the animals were huge! The little girl appeared dwarfed by their presence.

Her Grandpa paused and took her picture with the cows while the animals milled about in the background. The cows kept their distance while looking curiously at them. Soon the little girl pulled out a small yellow disposable camera from her pink backpack, something her parents had given her prior to her big hike to the meadow. She evidently wanted a picture of her Grandpa, ideally just like the one he took of her. He dutifully followed her every direction so that she could get him framed in the perfect picture with the cows as the backdrop.

All the while this was going on, she never once was afraid or concerned about the presence of these enormous animals. Occasionally an independent minded cow would get a little to friendly and try to approach them; but Grandpa was used to being around such animals and would shoo them back a bit.

In her mind why should she be concerned? She was with Grandpa, a man that loved her, who would never place her in harms way. He seemed to understand all the things in the world that she didn’t know about. Certainly he knew they were safe standing on the dirt path in the middle of a mountain meadow surrounded by a bunch of curious cattle. The experience was one she would always remember.

As believers and followers of Jesus Christ, we too should have a similar degree of confidence in our Heavenly Father, just as this young girl did of her grandfather.

For believers our encounters with God are through the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, the one whom Jesus promised would come after his death and resurrection. In our case, we most likely met the Holy Spirit during the period leading up to our saying “yes” to Jesus; for it’s the job of the Holy Spirit to bring about conviction of heart that leads to conversion (John 16:8-11). Conversion is the human’s turning to God. It consists of a negative and a positive element: repentance, that is, abandonment of sin; and faith, that is, acceptance of the promises and the work of Christ.”(1)

From the moment of our decision to follow Christ in faith, we are assured of our place in Heaven. Like Jesus, and because of His work on the cross, we too have overcome death. With death behind us it’s now possible for us to look forward to life in the future with confidence and peace. Charles Wesley once wrote the following lyrics in a hymn that captured this powerful realization of Christ’s work for us. In part he wrote: “Where, O Death is now thy sting?…”(2) Indeed we have much to celebrate when it comes to our decision to respond to the entreating’s of the Holy Spirit and to place our faith in Christ.

Thankfully the Holy Spirit doesn’t simply leave us hanging after we’ve made the choice to follow Christ, He remains steadfast in our lives each and every moment. Jesus told his disciples that through the Holy Spirit they would be enabled and empowered to do works far greater than even He had done in his earthly ministry (John 14:12).

That same empowerment extends to you and I today, as the Holy Spirit is present within each believer. He empowers us to do things that would normally be beyond our natural capabilities and strengths. Yet when we look back through the milestones of God sized assignments in our lives, we can’t help but to acknowledge that our apparent accomplishments ultimately found their roots in God’s empowerment via the Holy Spirit.

One need only to look at the lives of the disciples to see this to be true. In the scriptures we are presented with twelve individuals that accomplished incredible feats in just a few years after their encounter and choice to follow Jesus. They could not have by their own strength managed to have shared the gospel and carried the message of Jesus such that over two thousand years later, the gospel and good news of Christ is still changing millions of lives. Their success was not a function of their own innate abilities, rather it’s origins were from the Holy Spirit. These individuals were associated with the initial spread of the Gospel throughout the entire Roman empire! (3)

Scriptures record that thousands of Jews placed their faith in Jesus (Acts 21:20), and these were not ordinary Jews, they were committed Jews sold out to their own way of life. Luke recorded that these were people that were “zealous for the law.” This would have meant that a choice to follow Jesus was one that likely came with a steep price. Many may have had to give up respected social positions, they were likely rejected by their families and suffered great economic hardships for their choice in following Jesus. Despite the costs they embraced the message of the gospel.

It would seem unlikely that these hardcore steadfast individuals would have given much heed to the message of the gospel were it simply delivered to them by uneducated fishermen, a hated tax collector, and a former Jewish leader (Paul) that abandoned his place in society to follow Christ. Yet they were moved to follow Jesus. Why? Only the Holy Spirit could account for such empowerment. The Bible tells us that many other prominent members of society outside of Jewish circles also believed and placed their faith in Christ (Acts 17:12).

That same Holy Spirit that empowered these normal everyday people is as available to you and I today as it was for the disciples then. I would strongly encourage you to embrace the peace that comes with knowing for certain that death no longer has hold of your life. You need not fear it.

We as believers are indwelled by the Holy Spirit, who is God, and the Bible tells us that God has his best in mind for you and I, and that his best includes God sized assignments that you and I could never accomplish without direct empowerment from the Holy Spirit.

Are you in the midst of a God sized assignment? If so, take a moment and ask God to empower you to accomplish whatever it is that he has set before you. Trust him to give you the abilities and resources to accomplish that which he has desires you to complete.

It is the desire of Jesus that we live our lives and live them to the full (John 10:10) We can only do that if we are in total reliance upon the Holy Spirit to empower us and that we genuinely believe that the work of Christ was sufficient to overcome the “sting” of death.

 

 

 

 

**************************************Notes************************

(1) Millard J. Erickson, Christian Theology, 3rd ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2013), 795.

(2) Logos Hymnal, 1st edition. (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1995).

(3) G. W. Bromiley and J. Orr, “Christianity,” ed. Geoffrey W. Bromiley, The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Revised (Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1979–1988), 661.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 FullLifeWord